Your birthday lands on my heart again
with a soft, sad thump instead of a stabbing strike.
The years since you’ve been gone
haven’t given me answer why
but I’ve made my peace with that.
I am well…mostly :/
I am happy…mostly
Although i cry today,
i will not cry tomorrow.
You were loved. You are missed.
I deactivated Twitter today.
I was there for almost ten years.
The birdsite was my first (and only until the meltdown) social media platform. I loved twitter. Made friends I still have today (now on different platforms), went thru years of writing stories with the best support from writers in the trenches with me. I followed scientists, comedians, newspapers, journalists. I found editors and writers and readers I adore, found horse people who are now friends, dog and cat accounts that made me smile every day. I scrolled daily for breaking news, politics, those gorgeous NASA pics,the funniest people on the planet, new memes, just…everything.
Then I locked my account and moved to Mastodon when shit started going sideways. I’d post occasionally on twitter to catch up with friends, but mostly doom scroll there, feeling worse, more anxiety, more anger, more outrage.
I checked out more platforms and joined those that looked like i might fit into, like Tumblr and Mastodon and Instagram.
When melonhead/douchebag/propagandist/liar/putinponyasshole/littlebitch banned journalists I stopped posting, stopped going there daily, took the app off my phone. Because fuck him you do not get my engagement numbers.
Today, after reading (on Mastodon by an account that I follow) that the locked accounts’ tweets were being loaded into a newly created section for all to see i am done.
I deactivated and I am sad at this outcome. I like where I am at now. I believe it will feel like home in time.
And so it begins.
Write on;
Also fuck you melonhead/douchebag/propagandist/liar/putinponyasshole/littlebitch
Okay so maybe I picked a terrible time to reboot my NaNoWriMo writing sprint after my November blew up for a variety of reasons that, like Glenn Close in that movie with the bunny, er anyway, could not be ignored. It was 11 degrees this morning and at a barn with a light wind it felt like 5 below. Christmas is around the corner. Dark at 4 in the afternoon. Scraping ice off the car in the mornings. Ground frozen and slippery.
But… today the mare goes on once a day meds so hooray!
And I am still liking my story so HOORAY! Writing is still fun…mostly, which is great. Progress is slow but is, in fact, still moving forward, so YESSS HOORAY.
My Christmas shopping is complete YEAH THAT’S RIGHT BOOYAH HOORAY I AM DONE.
And here comes a couple of 3 day weekends and for this I am so. damn. grateful. And tired. But very, very grateful.
Thanks for listening 🙂
WRITE ON;
2022 NaNoWriMo started out strong for me, writing more than 10K in the first week and another 4K in the next week. After two emergencies, (one ended up being minor thank goodness, the other definitely was not), all writing stopped.
The severe colic of my horse sucked up every available moment, both emotional and time-wise. After nearly a week at the equine clinic where they were trying hard to save her, the vet advised me nothing more could be done. The supportive care could be done at home and if she went back to colicking (and he thought she would) then I could call my vet and have her put down.
Dark times. Lots of crying. And swearing.
Fast forward, the medication the vet started on a “well nothing else worked let’s try this” WORKED. My beloved mare companion of 16 years has been home for 3 weeks and doing really well. That’s all I could ask for–more time–and I am thankful and amazed we have it.
So, now I am rebooting my NaNoWriMo. Clean slate. New idea, new name – REBOOT NANO 2022 DAY ONE MOTHERFUCKER starts tomorrow.
I’m grabbing my (metaphorical) boots and helmet and putting my foot in the stirrup again.
Giddy up. WHEEEEE
WRITE ON;
